Christmas dinner shouldn’t be all about food; it’s also about sharing memorable experiences with family and friends. So in case you invited your golfing friends over during the holiday, don’t just talk about those mini golf tips you recently read. Instead, be ready to tell a few good stories ready to keep everyone entertained.
Now aside from your usual “war stories” (i.e., a previous game you previously won), you can try telling a few funny anecdotes, too. If you don’t have any of those, then here are some you can start with.
A Hole in One
A reverend once woke up on a bright Sunday morning and decided to play golf instead of preaching to his congregation. So he asked his associate pastor to say the mass for him, before heading to a golf course 50 miles away. By choosing a far away course, he was hoping to avoid parishioners who knew him. And since he’s there on a Sunday, he has the course all to himself.
Unbeknownst to him, God and St. Peter was watching.
“Will you let him get away with this?” asked St. Peter.
“No, I guess not.” The Lord replied with a sigh. “Watch this!”
God then guided the reverend as he swung his club. His Srixon Q-Star Tour 2 ball shot straight toward the pin, fell just a short distance from it, then rolled gently into the hole 420 yards away.
St. Peter was shocked. “Why did you help him make a hole in one?” he asked.
The Lord chuckled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”
That Bad Dentist
Two old-timers named Chuck and Mike loved to play golf on weekends. Sometimes they even teach other players a few mini golf tips! One Friday night, Mike told his friend that he won’t make it to their game the next day due to an appointment with his dentist Dr. Taylor.
“Dr. Taylor?” remarked Chuck. “Isn’t he that dentist you visited three years back?”
“That’s right!” replied Mike.
“Did he do a good job last time?” asked Chuck.
“Well, I visited the course with him yesterday.” said Mike. “At the tenth hole, he hooked a shot and his ball accidentally hit me in the crotch. First time in three years my teeth didn’t hurt.”
There once was a golfer known for his fiery temper. He would regularly snap or throw his club whenever he lost, and his vocabulary includes a few words that could leave even the pope in awe.
One year, he decided to join the annual championship in our club. With a three-foot Newport 2 putter, he was in the middle of the 18th green when his ball lipped out and cost him the match. Then the crowd watched as he grabbed his golf bag and threw it angrily into the middle of the pond nearby.
The golfer then stamped off towards his car, only to return a few minutes later. As the crowd looked on, he jumped into the pond to retrieve his golf bag. He proceeded to open the side pocket and pull out his wallet and car keys. He then threw the bag into the pond again before storming off toward his car, his face purple with embarrassment.
Listening to Elders
A young man once decided to drop by the golf course to kill time, hoping to get nine holes in before going home. At the first hole, he met an older chap who asked if he could play with him. The young man agreed.
The old man turned out to be a fun person to play golf with. Despite not hitting the ball fat, he managed to make consistent swings without wasting time. Eventually, they made it to the 9th fairway, and the young man found himself in a tough situation. For between his ball and the green stands a large pine tree.
Seeing the young man struggle, the elder said, “When I was your age, I could hit that ball right over that tree.”
Encouraged, the young man proceeded to swing his club — and failed to make the ball fly over the tree.
Then the old man added, “Of course, when I was your age, that tree was just a three-foot tall sapling.”
A Challenging Scenario
A group of friends decided to play golf during the second day of their annual trip. Unfortunately, one of them decided to get very drunk the night before.
Still reeling from a terrible hangover, he went through his pre-shot routine before positioning himself behind his ball. But just as he’s getting ready to swing, he heard someone shouting from the starter’s box.
“Would the gentleman on the ladies tee please move back to the boxes?” shouted someone. This startled the golfer a bit, so he tried getting ready again.
“Sir, kindly exit the ladies tee and return to the men’s boxes,” persisted the voice. This time, the golfer was rattled off his concentration. Annoyed, he returned to his ball and started getting ready again.
But the voice in the starter box wasn’t done. “For the last time, would you please move off the ladies tee and return to the yellows?”
To which the golfer shot back, “Would that person in the starter’s box please stop shouting so I can play my second shot?”
My Last Golf Partner
A man went home after his weekend golf game with his wife. As soon as they freshened up, his wife rounded on him.
“Why doesn’t Tom join us on our weekend plays anymore?” she asked. “He used to come golfing with us whenever he could!”
The man replied with another question, “Would you like to play golf with someone who cheats all the time, lies about their scores, disregards others’ mini golf tips, and bad-mouths other people at the course?”
“No, of course I wouldn’t!” replied his wife.
“Well,” said the husband, “neither would Tom Wilson.”
The Ball Swindler
Craig and Jim used to play golf together. But one day, Craig stormed towards a gathering and ranted to another friend.
“I don’t want to play golf with Jim anymore!” he exclaimed.
“Why’s that?” asked his friend, concerned.
“He cheated on our last match!” replied Craig angrily. “When we played this morning, he claimed he found his golf ball two feet from the green!”
“That’s not impossible,” commented his friend.
“But I had his golf ball in my pocket when he said that!” retorted Craig.
Back It Up Like Arnie
Arnold Palmer once encountered a 235-yard par-3 during one of his big games. After careful deliberation, he grabbed his 3 iron and swung the ball, making it fly for 20 feet before it landed within 3 feet of the pin.
This amazed one of his fans. “Sir, how did you make your 3 iron back up like that?” he asked.
Palmer replied, “Do you own a 3 iron?”
“I do!” said the fan.
“What’s the farthest distance you managed to make with it?” asked Palmer.
“Around 160 yards,” replied the fan proudly.
With a confused expression, Palmer asked, “Then why do you want to know how to back up a 3 iron?”
Tell These Stories During Christmas Dinner
The funny golf-related anecdotes listed above are more than enough to tackle your golfing friends’ funny bones. So don’t forget to tell them during your Christmas dinner alongside the usual mini golf tips.