Funny Yet Sound New Year’s Resolutions for Golfers

LGB Funny Advice

2022 is already here, so better finalize your list of New Year’s resolutions if you haven’t yet. Now aside from the usual words of wisdom you’ll find in your favorite golf grip guide, you might want to add a few funny-sounding advice, too! They’ll raise your eyebrows the first time you hear them, yes, but following them will also help you become a better golfer this year. So if you’re up for it, add these tickling tips on your list.

Take More Irons Everyday

If your doctor has been advising you to take more iron everyday, it probably means two things. Either you’re looking a bit anemic, or he’s spotted you one time spending more time at the greens than you want to admit to. In both cases, you should follow his advice. Take more iron supplements, eat iron-rich foods like spinach, baked beans, and red meat, and bring all your golf irons to your next game. As a way of saying thanks, you can even invite your doctor on your next trip to the course!

Avoid Sinking Your Balls to the Lake

Chances are, your favorite golf course comes with its own natural or man-made lake. Unless you bring your favorite Speedo trunks, you should at least try avoiding sending your golf balls flying towards that body of water. Otherwise, the combination of the lake and the winter climate will end up freezing your balls (other than the white one you swing). What’s more, you’ll wind up disrupting the entire course, with the staff and other players probably laughing their heads off. Plus, emptying your box of fresh Snell MTB Black Golf Balls on the lake isn’t a great way to start the year right!

Don’t Get Lost in the Woods

But in case your golf course comes with its own forest rather than a lake, you shouldn’t swing your golf balls in that direction either. While there’s technically nothing wrong with doing that, it will still end up prolonging your game unnecessarily. That’s because you’ll have a hard time finding your lost golf ball. The worst part is, you can’t pick up the ball to get it out of that tough spot. You’ll have to swing it, and that means the trees will get in the way. In short, your simple golf game will turn into a mind-bending obstacle course.

Stay Sober During Your Game

Bringing a pack of beers to the golf course is okay as long as you keep it tucked safely in your car or golf cart. As your favorite golf grip guide will tell you, you shouldn’t play golf while drinking. Doing so will lead to hilarious consequences at best or harmful ones at worst, like what happened to John Daly. For example, you’ll more likely miss your ball whenever it’s your turn to swing. Or you might mistake your beer can with your ball and hit that instead. You might even feel hot around the collars and decide to take a dip at the course lake to cool off.

Don’t Gamble While Playing

Lee Trevino once said, “You don’t know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket.” While it’s okay to have a few bets during a game, gambling is another story. That is, you shouldn’t wager large amounts of money over a match-up, especially if you don’t actually have the money in question. Otherwise, you’ll end up in heavy debt, as well as ruin your friendship with whoever you’re playing with. Besides, most courses don’t allow gambling within their premises.

Read the Angry Wife Club Guide

Have you ever heard of the Angry Wife Club Guide? It’s okay if you haven’t. It’s not something found in a golf grip guide. Anyway, it helps golfers defend themselves from their spouses in case they get caught doing something they shouldn’t. In it, you’ll find which club to hold based on your sin. For example, putters are great for whenever you left the toilet seat up in the middle of the night (and she accidentally fell in). Meanwhile, 9 irons will do in case your outdoor dog somehow gets inside the house and ends up shredding her sofa.

Be a Better Golfer This Year

As weird as the advice above sounds, following them can still help you become a better, more professional golfer at the end of the day. So aside from the ones you picked up in your golf grip guide, better include them on your New Year’s resolution list if you know what’s good for you.

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